Jesse Medina

My friend Jeff Goins just posted a blog entry asking the reader to consider if they might not be full of crap.

To be full of crap is to say one thing, but to be another.  It is hypocrisy, but not just in sinning.  Hypocrisy is present at any time our actions do not line up with what we say.

To put it another way (and, for me, a more helpful way): hypocrisy is when what I believe is not played out in my life.

Normally I don’t think Jeff’s article would have hit me as hard as it did, but God confronted me on something this morning.  As I was driving to work, I was in a hurry.  By that I mean my already aggressive driving was even more aggressive because I had somewhere to be.  At one point, I was trying to pass a rather slow moving car, but that car instead came into my lane despite the fact that it was clear I was coming up fast.  As I quickly swerved into the lane the guy had just come from, I lifted my hand, with a certain single finger lifted to let him know just how happy I was with his driving…while listening to worship music nonetheless!

And immediately I was confronted by God about it.  Who was this person driving my car, calling himself “like Christ,” deeply desiring to be a pastor?  How was my action loving to that person?  And what sort of damage could I have done to that person’s spirit?  The message I was communicating was clear:

You’re an idiot

Learn how to drive

Get off the road

Screw you

Yeah, real Christ-like there.

This, though, is but an isolated incident.  More and more I realize the gap between who I say I am, even who I desperately want to be, and who I really am.

I say I want to be closer to God…but I rarely read my Bible or pray.

I say I want to be more disciplined…but I find ways to avoid discipline.

I say I want to be more fit…but find excuses to not go to the gym.

I say I want to be better about money…but always find something to spend on.

I say I want to focus more of my time and money on social action…but haven’t managed to get involved myself

The truth is that I am full of crap, I am a hypocrite.

Towards the end of his blog entry, Jeff asks:

Have you avoided doing what God has told you to do, because it’s not yet time?

I don’t have to be honest when answering this question because, honestly, you wouldn’t know the difference.  I could very easily say, “No, of course not!” and could fool you into believing that I was telling the truth.  I’m sure I’ve even fooled some of those who I interact with on a daily basis.

And its tempting to do that.  But I have to ask myself: at the end of the day if that is what I really want?  Is it worth it to fool people for years when I and God know the truth?

I don’t think so.

Do you?

Filed under: Uncategorized Tagged: | Apathy, Authenticity, God, Hypocrisy, Jesus, Tension