I’ll be honest, I kind of hate the week or two leading up to Thanksgiving. Everyone is always talking about all the things they are thankful for: family, friends, spouses, clean water, food, jobs. That’s great and I think we should definitely be thankful for all the good things in our lives, but at some point I wish someone would be thankful for something that’s not so obvious. Something, perhaps, that is difficult to be thankful for.
Not many of us tend to be thankful for those things in our lives that disappoint us. But the kind of gratitude that Jesus is looking for needs to go beyond the feel-good things and those things that we want. Jesus-type gratitude says, “Thank You” even when it is difficult. Even when you don’t want to say it.
I experienced that over three years ago. In May of 2006, after several months of interviewing with a church for their youth pastor position, I was informed that I didn’t get the job. But it wasn’t just a job for me. It was my dream job. Worse, I had put all of my eggs in that basket as a result of what I thought were verbal clues left to me by the pastor – clues that seemed to indicate the job was mine. “Oh, you’re the one,” said an elder who couldn’t be at the initial elder meeting. After preaching for youth group as part of the interview process, the senior pastor said, “The other guy was a great preacher, but man, you really connected with those kids.” Just weeks before the decision was to be made my wife and I joined the pastor and his family for a denominational banquet and as it concluded and we gave hugs he said, “We’ll see you soon.” It was my dream job in every way and as far as I could tell, I had it.
After getting that call, I was devastated.
Leading up to that call, I spent much time in prayer – that tends to happen when I really, really want something. But in addition to begging God for the job, I asked for his will to be done first and foremost, even praying that if the other candidate needed it more, to give it to him (he was a classmate of mine).
At the end of it all, God said, “No.”
For many of us, God says “no” to our prayers more often than he says “yes.” Worse still, he says “no” to what we think are the most important prayers we will ever pray. Prayers to spare the life of a terminally sick loved one, prayers for a job that will change our lives, prayers for a restored marriage, prayers for the salvation of family members. And when God says “no” we often respond in kind, saying “no” to God.
Within days of receiving the call, I spent some time in prayer in a park where I often went to pray. Sitting on a bench and expressing in as many words as I could, the extreme frustration that I felt, I made a decision to practice gratitude. With all the strength and sincerity I could muster (which wasn’t much) I audibly whispered those two words that I had no desire to say: “thank you.”
“No” is still an answer to prayer. And for all we know, it is the best possible answer that God could give us, even it is not the outcome we were hoping for. If we are only thankful when God says “yes,” what does that say about us? What does that say about our ability to trust and love God, even when things don’t turn out like we want?
So what is it that you need to say “thank you” for? A job you didn’t get? A broken relationship? The loss of a loved one? Something more painful? Something less painful?
Thank Him for it.
Filed under: Uncategorized Tagged: | Gratitude, Pain, Prayer
